the thing is, i would always think about suicide. but not that serious tho. i just always think about it like why am i even here, what is the purpose of my life, what am i thinking, why am i thinking like this, and i know i should not be thinking about these and it leads me to suicidal. but still, i swear i wont do it. it is only because my religion forbid it and it would cause me a very great sin. just saying, if i am a person with no religion, it would done it already. i know why it was forbidden, of course i believe in my religion but you know sometimes, i have this kind of season where i just dont care about anything. it is so wrong but ya. sometimes, i feel like the world is against me, nothing is right, im all alone, no one gets me, no one know it felt.
i dont even understand myself, i dont know what i want, what i need, should i say this, should i just keep it in or just should i just die? i mean like, you guys wont even understand what im saying right now tho. i am so bad in expressing myself, i literally dont know how to describe my feelings right now. you may think i am depressed but i just cant find the problem why am i feeling so depressed or down or this suicidal mood shit. then, should i really say that im depressed? no. maybe yall also think, maybe shes on her period stuff kinda shit. you think i am having my fucking period throughout the year?
its not like anyones fault tho. nothing triggered me, it just come at the moment and happens. sometimes, i really just feeling depressed without any reasons, everyday my heart keep hurting, i just wish this feelings would go away. i feel so stupid for being depressed with no reasons. or just maybe i am having a mental problem.
and right now i dont know what i am saying. ignore me please. have a nice day, bye