so yeah its already one oclock in the morning but so many
thoughts keep running through my mind and i just wanna let everything written out. idk why i really do prefer my
problems and thoughts were not actually being spoken out. when i write, i did
felt relieved. basically if you wanna know or stalk me please do take what i write seriously, because i may not directly write it but yeah at least i did
give it a clue.
so actually i wanna talk about.. problems? nope. too much
problems and theres actually nothing can be settled down by writing it out. i
just wanna talk about my thoughts on, if my parents are not there for me, my
siblings anymore. well basically this topic came out when my older sister and i in the car while were heading off to our hometown. whenever my family were
heading to our hometown, we used two cars which the first car my dad would
drive it and obviously the second car was my older sister. yeah because my
siblings are getting bigger and one car is not enough. and guess what, the second car was only me
and my older sister. but i just love it whenever i get to be just with my older
sister, we just keep talk talk and talk. but correction, not gossiping alright. we talked too much stuff and literally, i became more mature than before. serious talk, it did. oh she is 21 years old this year.
the topic actually came out when, we talk about how immature
my other siblings are. and suddenly, my sister came out with this sentence,
“whos gonna take care of us when mum and dad are gone? they are getting older
and older everyday.”
i cant lie, i run out of words, i did. after all this time,
we only depends on our parents. can you guys imagine? well, we cant expect our
parents gone only when they are old right? death can come anytime and anywhere. my big brother and my older sister are only 22 and 21. can they support my
siblings? my other 3 younger sister? maybe i could handle my life myself but
what about my other siblings? are they matured enough? and yeah, i am crying
right now. its not because i am being too emotional it just... oh come on who
didnt get emotional when it comes to the part about our parents?
its not that i dont love them, for god sake i do love my
parents bigger than infinity. literally and seriously. it just, i think i am
matured enough and ready to face the worse. but ya know what, the longer they
stay, the longer they will suffer. you got what i mean right? well yeah maybe because of some
sins we cant avoid on doing so. just maybe. i would really really want my
parents to there with me, with my siblings till each and one of us succeed in
our life. graduations, weddings, marriage, grandchildren.. arent those supposed
to be their life goals too? and to bring such happiness, their smile are just
precious. and so i did hope, the time do allow us to accomplish such
mission. i love them too much i could die for them and i do mean it. it just, i hope the time wont come any nearer, just dont. not now.
and trust me, i would
give my best ever to be the perfect child, mum and dad.