so hello x
its been a very nice and peaceful night. here i am, enjoying my wonderful cup of coffee. i may look happy and calm, but guess whats in my mind. you know lifes hard and i swear to god i am falling apart. its been a while i havent updated anything so yeah clearly it had been nothing of change in my life. everyday i keep my head up high and smile. and literally it is hard to keep up.
and yes, my lifes keep on getting better and wonderful. well i did, i did forget everything. its hard to get through all the pain and cuts. regardless of how many the snitches are needed to secure my heart, i can still feel the fresh pain. but then, i fight. i fight my loneliness. i strengthen my ego. i do distract my heart from doing the same old routine and change everything. avoiding all those crappy and shitty songs. and i have to tell you it works, within time. i was happy, i am happy. until just one night....
he'd came back. yeah, weird? even when i do push everything away, some how he still had my heart. what a fool i am. telling me that everythings gonna be alright, trying to get back to the life we used to be. so for all those time i keep on building the wall of protection and i did not expect for a fall after such a hope. i did advice myself for not to trust him in any situation but yeah, guess what did i do? i let him in, again. despite all those time i have spend to get myself happy and i lose, in those irresistible love. i do like, falling in love for the second time.
well what can i say now, my heart vanished like smoke. he wasnt the same like he did at that night. and keep on spending time on thinking why, why and why. once hes hot like the summer and once hes cold like the winter. and i spend all the long night, by myself. erasing my thoughts over thousand times. i wish i can stand in some way and let my tears dry.
he had always be like the temptations, the irresistible one.