i am just, the another one.

day after day, time passes away. and i'm still dealing with the same, yeah shit. tbh, i am really sucks in romance. ya right. i've changed. i am no more that nadiah anymore. i grew up. yeah, more boyish. no more that cutie, no. and i turned out to be, well, you know. just a heartless girl. but now, everything is haunting me back. tell me how just how now?

okay here's where it all started. he liked me. i'm just way too cool to know that. because i know, this like thingy won't go any further. of course he need to make a move. just like a normal and childish way, a simple hey just do the trick. and boom.. things get more serious. i can't lie, i do have feelings towards him after all those late night conversation, memories and stuffs. but..

so do other girls! he's a sweet talker.. i think so? yeah, a player to me. trust me, i've been through a lots of different characters of boys. and yeah, i just don't know this type.. idk if i can handle this or not. apparently not for now. how can i even get jealous with someone who doesn't even mine? he's a flirt tbh. and i hate to know that. like i said, i've changed. but yeah, i know i'm changing to be the old me.. and for sure, i don't want that. i don't want to be that easy attracted to people and ended up, hurting myself. i don't want to be that kind of girl. i want to be that girl, who doesn't fall to hard and easily. yeah, just nice..

but tell me how now, if i can't even resist him. and the worst part is, somewhere, somehow, in my heart, telling me that he wasn't that serious to get me. and now, i don't know what to do. to love him? or not? to treat him as a friend tho? i can't. it is just too pain just to watch him with the others.. make him my special one? but he wouldn't do the same. i can't even made up my mind. did i want him? did i really like him? or not? and i've swore before, i'm totally tired of boys. and had enough of them. but now, see. just see. i still, can't. and fuck, i am facing the same problems. just with the different man.

what's wrong with my heart? why i can't even try to control my own feelings? my own heart? did i haven't get enough of this? he's just a complete stranger who i don't even know where he came from! and now, i just can't made up my mind. i can't.. i don't know what to do. ergh. but one thing is for sure.

he really do, succeed on stealing my heart. //clap hands//