its been a long time huh since the last post. i am sorry. to be a university teen is so stressful and busy. not that stressful but yeah its a bit pack you know especially for foundation studies and we only had like a year to get through but never mind. i had another topic to story today. not that interesting but something i really wanted to share.. actually it wasnt a topic but it was a story, some kind of sharing my problems and thoughts..
i just wanna say that, life did teaches me a lesson. but i dont know why, how many times i went through the same shit, still i did being fooled. or life is punishing me? i dont wanna gain any sympathy or trying to embarrassing myself it just.... you know that one feeling when you do feel so down and extremely empty and you just wanna split everything out? yeah and i am trying to let everything out tonight.
"nothing last forever."
so many kind of stories, and thoughts i would probably came up by this line. this single line. what kind of story i would write today?
i am a girl, i am sensitive. i am just a normal girl. i fall so hard and well you know it is hard for me to get over things fast..... and literally i am so hard to get over things that happen. especially the bad ones and yes, i did faced the break up. he was right anyways. in Islam there is no such things as couples. they only leads to zina. and yeah probably keeping a distant is a good idea by the way. but i did not say that we cant be friends. but yeah but it is hard to be friends with the one you love.
"nothing last forever."
so many kind of stories, and thoughts i would probably came up by this line. this single line. what kind of story i would write today?
i am a girl, i am sensitive. i am just a normal girl. i fall so hard and well you know it is hard for me to get over things fast..... and literally i am so hard to get over things that happen. especially the bad ones and yes, i did faced the break up. he was right anyways. in Islam there is no such things as couples. they only leads to zina. and yeah probably keeping a distant is a good idea by the way. but i did not say that we cant be friends. but yeah but it is hard to be friends with the one you love.
its okay. i am okay. i am strong and i just got to be lucky as i am a happy go lucky person so i can actually handle myself even it is a bit hard... yep, it is. but what i learned was, nothing last forever. even the world did not even last. i do blame myself for giving in at the first place, as i was desperately gasping for love. well, when Allah did say it doesnt gonna work, it wont. to think back, it is actually a right thing to do because no relationship are literally be halal besides marriage. despite how much we did take care the boundaries or so whatever. i do regret at the first place because the only thing i get was a sin and a broken heart. but look at the bright side, it actually makes me even more closer to my creator and makes me realize. yep. it wasnt that bad afterall even though it hurts.
i do admit that i was once a fool... i fall to hard and i fucked up sometimes. i wasnt that strong back then, i wasnt that aware back then, i know i shouldnt have trusted someone or literally a stranger for being in my heart. and people make mistakes, so do i. i let him in. i let my world to be his. i let myself being wandering with this sinful love. what did i expect? of course with all those sweet talks, i did madly in love. tell me where did i go wrong? it hurts more when the reason why he leaves just to avoid from making more sins but flirting with other girls. what?
tell me how, how would i could face this? can you tell how horribly my heart broke into pieces?
no use of being sad and regretting stuffs... is it worth? for even to think about that? like i said, i am only a fool. i couldnt see through all...but its always better when you know the truth even it did hurts. it was totally a break down but its okay, it can be fixed. it just takes time. yep, with all those promises for always be there, till the marriage, those pinky promises that he will not go away. sweet promises, who didnt fall for that?
well lets just stop about that. as i was saying, nothing last forever in this world. in the end, people change for no reason. everything is meaningless. maybe it just, i met the wrong person, just maybe. there is no mistake for being in love, it never be. can i smile again? can i be happy again? i know i can. ive put every inch of my trust to Allah and yes, finally i did find my true love that is my love to my creator and family.
but the saddest thing is i did strayed too far from Allah back then. alhamdulillah, i did realize in the end.
i do admit that i was once a fool... i fall to hard and i fucked up sometimes. i wasnt that strong back then, i wasnt that aware back then, i know i shouldnt have trusted someone or literally a stranger for being in my heart. and people make mistakes, so do i. i let him in. i let my world to be his. i let myself being wandering with this sinful love. what did i expect? of course with all those sweet talks, i did madly in love. tell me where did i go wrong? it hurts more when the reason why he leaves just to avoid from making more sins but flirting with other girls. what?
tell me how, how would i could face this? can you tell how horribly my heart broke into pieces?
" i used to believe in you,
and i was happy
but its like a joke,
i am left alone.
you used to promise me
with your pinky finger,
but in the end...."
no use of being sad and regretting stuffs... is it worth? for even to think about that? like i said, i am only a fool. i couldnt see through all...but its always better when you know the truth even it did hurts. it was totally a break down but its okay, it can be fixed. it just takes time. yep, with all those promises for always be there, till the marriage, those pinky promises that he will not go away. sweet promises, who didnt fall for that?
well lets just stop about that. as i was saying, nothing last forever in this world. in the end, people change for no reason. everything is meaningless. maybe it just, i met the wrong person, just maybe. there is no mistake for being in love, it never be. can i smile again? can i be happy again? i know i can. ive put every inch of my trust to Allah and yes, finally i did find my true love that is my love to my creator and family.
but the saddest thing is i did strayed too far from Allah back then. alhamdulillah, i did realize in the end.