i really really really think that i should stop on hoping for something. and sorry i won't tell you guys what is it. well, to be honest, i am not that easy to give up on something. even when i do, it was my last strength. guess what? i feel like my heart was ripped off with his bare hands. and god, you guys have to know what it feels like. it feels so fucking pain. i repeat, fucking pain. and of course, i feel like giving up everything, everything that i have ever bet on. i am seriously tired of crying, tired of this game. i never ever thought letting go was this super hard.
and what makes me dying is, i've once succeed of forgetting everything but the thing is everything haunts me back and i truly hate it. i really did try many ways to let go, which i failed. and all these things really make me stress out. i know i am stupid, how i can't let go of something that wasn't really worth for me? that wasn't even care about me..
i do admit, i still love him and for what? he had already moved on with his life with someone else. with someone else..... someone else, not me ;)
i know i am strong and yes, i am really gonna let this go out of my head. to be honest, i am so done on having this crush or bf thingy. everything will be just the same at the end of story by the way.
from now and onwards, i'm gonna focus on my life. Allah, parents, family and friends first. oh and studies too. hopefully, i will become a new person ;)
thanks for listening x